I Wish I Was the Fun Girl

by Lelia Saffold 

I wish I was the fun girl.

Not the boring, sits alone in the corner girl.

 

I sometimes wish I had the urge to drink and make questionable choices like my friends.

But I’ve always been the designated driver, sipping on a Shirley Temple girl.

 

I’m the loner at the party who slips away from the crowd in search of the host’s dog.

(That is, if I even get invited to the party at all)

The awkward, antisocial, and just wants to go home and go to bed girl.

 

I didn’t know I was so unlike the others until the midst of college.

The “you need to loosen up and let go” girl.

 

A voice in the depth of my soul begs me to be different, be outgoing, be confident.

Girl why aren't you like them?

But an overwhelming force tells me I will never be the fun girl.